Couples Counseling 2018-04-10T01:38:30+00:00

COUPLES COUNSELING

COUPLES COUNSELING

OVERVIEW

Couples seek therapy for a wide range of reasons.  More often than not, couples seeking therapy have trouble communicating effectively.  Consequently, there is a break down in one or many parts of the relationship.  I help couples who are stuck in cycles of conflict because they are caught in a spiral of negative emotions & behaviors.

OVERVIEW

Couples seek therapy for a wide range of reasons.  More often than not, couples seeking therapy have trouble communicating effectively.  Consequently, there is a break down in one or many parts of the relationship.  I help couples who are stuck in cycles of conflict because they are caught in a spiral of negative emotions & behaviors.

REASONS FOR THERAPY

Over the years, getting stuck again and again in similar arguments, not being able to resolve your differences, can affect your relationship bond, leaving you feeling confused, disappointed and hopeless.  Relationship distress is common, but when left untreated, it can go from bad to worse rapidly.  Most couples seek therapy after 7 years of relational distress causing them immense emotional pain and suffering.  Getting help, guidance and support sooner can make all the difference in sustaining emotional connection and healthy communication in order to make lasting repair.

Do you experience your partner as nagging, accusatory, demanding, questioning, criticizing, controlling, complaining, attacking, clinging, interogating, judging or blaming?

– OR –

Do you experience your partner as withdrawn, defensive, dismissive, avoidant, shut down, appeasing, counter blaming, numbed out, reasoning, deflecting, non-responsive or smoothing things over?

My role as an Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT) for couples is to help you identify and change these ineffective communication patterns and find a better way to communicate your hurts, fears and disappointments in the relationship.  This often means helping you to identify underlying causes of distrust and blaming in order to re-establish a feeling of connection and closeness.  My hope is to help you re-discover your voice in the relationship and help you and your partner be able to hear it again.  I also specialize in working with interracial couples and the specific challenges they face managing race relations, family historical dynamics and cultural competency.

Our partners often hold an invisible key that can activate painful hurts, fears, longings, and chaos that do not seem to manifest in other areas of our lives.  At the same time, these very same partners also hold the golden key to both our personal healing, as well as lasting love.  I join couples in identifying, and ultimately breaking free from long-standing patterns that maintain couple distress, and help them find new ways to connect that promote closeness and long lasting love.

REASONS FOR THERAPY

Over the years, getting stuck again and again in similar arguments, not being able to resolve your differences, can affect your relationship bond, leaving you feeling confused, disappointed and hopeless.  Relationship distress is common, but when left untreated, it can go from bad to worse rapidly.  Most couples seek therapy after 7 years of relational distress causing them immense emotional pain and suffering.  Getting help, guidance and support sooner can make all the difference in sustaining emotional connection and healthy communication in order to make lasting repair.

Do you experience your partner as nagging, accusatory, demanding, questioning, criticizing, controlling, complaining, attacking, clinging, interogating, judging or blaming?

– OR –

Do you experience your partner as withdrawn, defensive, dismissive, avoidant, shut down, appeasing, counter blaming, numbed out, reasoning, deflecting, non-responsive or smoothing things over?

My role as an Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT) for couples is to help you identify and change these ineffective communication patterns and find a better way to communicate your hurts, fears and disappointments in the relationship.  This often means helping you to identify underlying causes of distrust and blaming in order to re-establish a feeling of connection and closeness.  My hope is to help you re-discover your voice in the relationship and help you and your partner be able to hear it again.  I also specialize in working with interracial couples and the specific challenges they face managing race relations, family historical dynamics and cultural competency.

Our partners often hold an invisible key that can activate painful hurts, fears, longings, and chaos that do not seem to manifest in other areas of our lives.  At the same time, these very same partners also hold the golden key to both our personal healing, as well as lasting love.  I join couples in identifying, and ultimately breaking free from long-standing patterns that maintain couple distress, and help them find new ways to connect that promote closeness and long lasting love.

“Sometimes you have to fight for the connection you want. Just fight that battle from your heart rather than from your fear.”

JAYSON GADDIS

“Sometimes you have to fight for the connection you want. Just fight that battle from your heart rather than from your fear.”

JAYSON GADDIS

WHAT IS EFT?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), founded by Dr. Sue Johnson, is a new way of understanding adult love relationships, drawing on attachment theory.  This approach has been met with unprecedented success in helping distressed couples improve their relationship and deepen their bond.  This approach has also been acknowledged by the APA (American Psychological Association) as having valid research supporting its effectiveness.

EFT starts by acknowledging that people are inherently social, and that we are biologically hardwired to create and maintain strong emotional ties with our partner and loved ones.  This means acknowledging that you are attached to your partner and rely on your partner to fully thrive as well as mitigate the stress of life’s challenges.  In its essence, everyone wants a positive answer to the question “Are you there for me?”  You want to know that your partner is accessible, responsive, and engaged.

EFT sees distress in relationships as centered in the loss of secure emotional connection, and that a negative cycle or “dance” is established when that loss of connection is experienced.  These cycles are often characterized by anger, criticism, leaving, or appearing indifferent, to name a few.  Once established, these cycles can crop up over the slightest issue, and over time be corrosive to the bonds of trust and security in the relationship.  EFT aims to help couples stop these negative cycles by first identifying and mapping out this cycle, then helping couples identify and articulate their needs and clarify their emotional signals in a way that helps their partner to have greater understanding, compassion and responsiveness.  In turn, a more secure, strong resilient bond is cultivated.

WHAT IS EFT?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), founded by Dr. Sue Johnson, is a new way of understanding adult love relationships, drawing on attachment theory.  This approach has been met with unprecedented success in helping distressed couples improve their relationship and deepen their bond.  This approach has also been acknowledged by the APA (American Psychological Association) as having valid research supporting its effectiveness.

EFT starts by acknowledging that people are inherently social, and that we are biologically hardwired to create and maintain strong emotional ties with our partner and loved ones.  This means acknowledging that you are attached to your partner and rely on your partner to fully thrive as well as mitigate the stress of life’s challenges.  In its essence, everyone wants a positive answer to the question “Are you there for me?”  You want to know that your partner is accessible, responsive, and engaged.

EFT sees distress in relationships as centered in the loss of secure emotional connection, and that a negative cycle or “dance” is established when that loss of connection is experienced.  These cycles are often characterized by anger, criticism, leaving, or appearing indifferent, to name a few.  Once established, these cycles can crop up over the slightest issue, and over time be corrosive to the bonds of trust and security in the relationship.  EFT aims to help couples stop these negative cycles by first identifying and mapping out this cycle, then helping couples identify and articulate their needs and clarify their emotional signals in a way that helps their partner to have greater understanding, compassion and responsiveness.  In turn, a more secure, strong resilient bond is cultivated.

Starting the process of couples counseling with a therapist can elicit many feelings.  I expect a serious commitment to work on improving the relationship.  Often couples will start therapy and have a great session or two and think, we are good from here…only to return back in a month or so.  Couples Therapy isn’t easy!  I recognize that you and your partner may be in a really tough place in your relationship, and I appreciate you reaching out for help right now.  As you’re reading this, you’ve taken the first step, and now I invite you to start your journey towards improved communication and greater intimacy.

CONTACT

Starting the process of couples counseling with a therapist can elicit many feelings.  I expect a serious commitment to work on improving the relationship.  Often couples will start therapy and have a great session or two and think, we are good from here…only to return back in a month or so.  Couples Therapy isn’t easy!  I recognize that you and your partner may be in a really tough place in your relationship, and I appreciate you reaching out for help right now.  As you’re reading this, you’ve taken the first step, and now I invite you to start your journey towards improved communication and greater intimacy.

CONTACT
“Healing is an art. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes love.”

PAVANA

© 2018 JENA PARHAM LCSW.  WEBSITE BY WILSHIRE LENOX.
“Healing is an art. It takes time. It takes practice. It takes love.”

PAVANA

© 2018 JENA PARHAM LCSW.  WEBSITE BY WILSHIRE LENOX.